NCAA TOURNEY APOLOGY - By: Kyle Devitte
The first person I saw as I entered Gillette was LaxPower’s Dan Driscoll. (Note to LaxPower – that plug isn’t free: if you don’t pay Dan soon, you’re going to see how vulgar I can REALLY be). Driscoll approached me and let out a huge bellowing laugh. He slapped me on the back and said “Hey, I’ve been watching you on those Lax United videos – you here to bitch about this too? All you do is bitch!”
My response: “Yeah, I know. It’s what I do best.”
Another hearty chortle from the big man gave me the exit I needed. This would set a pattern for me all weekend: make wise-ass comment, wait for laughter, leave situation, repeat.
As much as I would like to plunge my own proverbial knife into the back of the people responsible for the parking lot situation, I shall sheathe my own implement and will instead endeavor to remove the knife from the back of all lacrosse fans traveling from far and wide to the games this weekend.
How were they to know that the parking lots would be unmarked and consist of loose ankle-rolling stones? Or that the construction would not only be incomplete, but cumbersome to pedestrians. Or that 35 minutes actually mean 95 minutes on any Massachusetts highway. So it is for these people that I write this letter of apology, since no one else is going to do it.
*Ahem*
Dear All lacrosse fans that attended the NCAA tournament at Gillette stadium,
People from Maryland, Long Island, Virginia, Upstate New York, the Mid-west, the East Coast the West Coast, Canada, Japan, Australia, Germany and even Canada I have one thing to say to you about this past weekend.
I’m sorry.
Everyone that said this thing would be a traveling disaster – you were right. A lot of new Englanders probably feel vindicated in staying home and watching the games on TV.
As much as I can laud the ease of your decision, I’m also tossing some blame your way. I’m also going to share it, because I did nothing but throw middle fingers out my window on 95 and bitch in the press box.
WE sat on our laurels. WE weren’t ready. WE should have done our part. There is no YOU here. I blame myself as much as Joe-Roxbury-Mass who threw his grill in the back of his Corolla and drove to Foxborough with ice cold beer and dreams of a perfect weekend. He got screwed. People traveled from around the world to have this experience. Many of them veterans of the NCAA weekend, but several rookies made the pilgrimage as well. The veterans were likely prepared for the hazards of game day traffic and left their respective hotels at a savvy/ungodly hour. For the rookies – I have no doubt that many of you can sympathize with my apoplectic rage.
(Think I’m exaggerating? Find me one person that thought the traffic wasn’t a problem. Find me one person that was cool with having to stay at least a half hour away from the stadium. Find me one person that wasn’t held up in the parking lot for over an hour. Hell, find me one person who had ANYTHING good to say about the weekend besides the quality of the games?)
I am truly sorry. To the Canadian fans I am “surrey”. (Sadly, I have no way to apologize to the Japanese, German or Mid-Western fans, as I do not speak their dialect).
This is my tenth NCAA weekend. Memorial Day has been my Christmas for over a decade. Some of the best memories of my life have come from NCAA weekend.
I’ve been thrown in red clay mud by a group of burly teenagers in Piscataway. I’ve had a pitcher of beer dumped on me at the Greene Turtle by a certain MLL player in Baltimore. I’ve even been kicked out of the ESPN zone in the Inner harbor for utilizing flying knees in the boxing simulator and using a lacrosse stick to shoot on the hockey game. I’ve high-fived Navy players’ parents in Philadelphia hotels at 1 am. I was thrown out of a college park Subway for…something you don’t need to know about. I saw a dead guy on the street in Baltimore walking to Hopkins for an MLL scrimmage. My boy (and likely yours at this point; everyone loves Asian sidekicks) Dan Freshman was accosted outside Ravens stadium and had to knock a brother out. Even my best friend woke up in Towson without his underwear. I’ve been stared down by nearly every journalist in the press box for cheering sick goals and saves.
(By the way: “Non-cheering press box?” What is this a Communist regime? I’m cheering for sickness’ sake, not for teams you bloody Proletariats).
This year I made Paul Rabil Terminator jokes and got a shout out in the Washington Post blog section. Am I pissed that I sat in traffic for over eight hours, missed the D3 and D2 games and waited in a parking lot for three hours on the first day? Of course, but I’m more pissed for all of you that came expecting to have a weekend of great lacrosse and legendary tailgates. You have been shiested, and again I am sorry for that.
For the record:
Philly had better parking and variety
Baltimore had better atmosphere and tradition.
New Jersey had better organization and security.
Gillette had…better food in the press box.
I LIVE here. I work here. I coach here. This is my home.
My home fudged up.
Please give us a second chance. Please come back next year. Gillette doesn’t need you to sell out the stadium – lacrosse does.
Sincerely,
Kyle Devitte.
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