The Showdown in Annapolis: Freshman Picks Long Island
By Dan Freshman
Who would win in a fight: a large Canadian or a goonish fellow with fake muscles, fake tan, slick back hair and a $80 wife beater?
The answer may surprise you.
While the grizzled northerner may have the advantage in the individual spar, the kid from the South Shore would bring a) a knife, b) eight of his closest friends, c) five of his mother’s closest friends, c) a bodyguard, d) a body bag, e) a plan to dispose of the body, f) and an extra Ed Hardy tee of a skull fornicating with a heart, all while looking in the mirror.
As Warrior says, you don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. You also wouldn’t bring a moose’s knuckle.
Saturday’s afternoon tilt between the True North and Strong Island creates classic conflicts like offense versus defense, bad defense versus bad offense, box versus field, Canada versus that place that wants to secede, good neighbors versus Goodfellas and most intriguing of all, crazy goalie versus fat goalie. But don’t take those opposites to heart.
For one, Toronto’s league-leading offense is far from the league’s best offense. To say the Nationals’ game plan is one dimensional would be an insult to other one-trick ponies like Denver’s Matt Brown or the prissy dude from “Entourage.” The Nationals offense relies solely on the two-man game, making fruity picks like these and then dumping the ball for slam-dunk goals. Their roster only has one capable dodger, who fittingly turned into a passer the entire second half of the season, and the team was last in the league in two-point tallies. Even the return of John Grant Jr. featured him strictly as a finisher, making him just one of the other 12 on the team.
Meanwhile, Long Island’s defense is mean and can count to two. They surrendered the second-fewest goals of any team, behind the true 2009 Goalie of the Year. Yes, overweight Uncle Jesse, you didn’t deserve it. The man in Long Island known as Spicy McHaggis won four one-goal games for his team this season, playing without his best defenseman for half the season, his most reliable defenseman for ¾ the season and a full season with a future serial killer who racked up the second-most penalty minutes in the league. I know, Jess, you missed Hopkins snuggle buddy Kyle Harrison for those lonely road games, but Doc did as much as you did with much less.
Really, how effective can on-ball picks be for 60 minutes against arguably the league’s best defense? Well, it can be very effective—ex. a 19-9 thumping of the Lizards in mid-July—or embarrassingly impotent—ex. a 9-13 embarrassment on their home turf/country. During the former, Long Island played without assault and battery king Brian Spallina, faceoff prawn Peter Vlahakis, letting the Team Canada Developmental Team rough up the Strong Island on the inside. The Lizards were instead forced to sign the first guy with an Italian last name off the streets (Joe Mascaretti) to take faceoffs and suit up the aging John Gagliardi, who played in just three games this season. With Spallina and Vlak earlier in the season, the Toronto attack mustered up just four goals.
As long as Long Island can hold the Toronto attack to single digit goals, both midfields should draw to a push. By definition, midfielders play both offense and defense, play with athleticism and dodge to instigate the offense. Toronto’s midfielders can get into fights and draw three-minute slashing calls. When a team’s second-best offensive midfielder is a faceoff guy, you know you’re in the wrong country. Assuming Joe Walters draws the long stick defender every time, Danny Cocchi and Matt Zash can cover every other midfielder on the Toronto roster—mainly because none of them can sprint across the field in the time it takes them to sing “O Canada.”
Long Island’s midfield has the opposite problem—they dodge too much by themselves—but at least the Lizards can expect a handful of goals out of their narcissistic top of the box. Stephen Berger had his worst season in five years, yet he still outscored every Nationals midfielder except Walters. Chris Fiore can use his girth to push around Toronto tweeners like Jordan Levine, and Stephen Peyser can show the Nationals defense his video blogs from last season, which will make them gouge their eyes out. Problem solved. Peyser is the X-factor to the Long Island game plan.
In a battle between best offense and best defense, who always wins? Defense. Defense wins championships. Defense pushes people to prevail. Defense teaches you there is always an escape. Defense teaches you:
“The hands are not the issue. The fight is the issue. The battle is the issue. Who imposes the terms of the battle will impose the terms of the peace. Think he has a handicap? No. The other guy has a handicap if he cannot control himself. You control yourself, you control him.”
Strong Island will improve the position over Toronto.
To read Kyle’s “Showdown” column on why Toronto will win click:
http://www.laxunited.com/news.php?contentID=335
Follow Dan on Twitter at www.twitter.com/danfreshman
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