Last time on THE GREATEST TEAM EVER:
The best defense in the history of lacrosse was assembled with a ton of old school penalty merchants garnished with a sprinkling murderous rogues. Special teams were chosen and a fast goalie was balanced out with a fat goalie. Who says I discriminate against pituitarily challenged lacrosse players? No, seriously, who are they? I want names.
One important rule to review for this section: one Powell, One Gait, and one Junior. I mean there is only one junior, but that’s sort of the point. I cannot emphasize this enough. The offensive section begins and ends with John Grant Junior.
Now that that is on the table we have to go out and get our hands dirty picking the best Powell. Do we go by numbers? Status? No, we go with versatility. The most versatile and hirsute Powell is the original Powell: Casey.
Casey Powell (2003: 37 goal’s, 32 assist’s) plays midfield on this team. Why? Because he’s the only one that can. Ryan’s too Mammoth (pun intended) and the other one is too…petite. If this team is going to be unbeatable it has to be stocked with the biggest and the baddest dudes to ever strap on a Cascade. It was not an easy decision to go with the eldest Powell. The coach in me tells me to pick Ryan, but my heart says pick Casey, and like Rod Tidwell, I’m ALL HEART mothertrucker!
My second midfielder got a whole column to himself last year. He’s the most versatile midfielder in the history of the game. Goals, assists, ground balls, on and off ball defense – this guy does it all. The endless vigor of this guy…the sheer determination to be the best and beat the best is why I have selected him. He is – Jay Jalbert (03: 32 g’s, 14a’s, 105 gb’s). Jalbert is the greatest pure midfielder – and maybe the greatest pure lacrosse player – this world has ever seen. My inner fanboy does not allow me to place him above Powell, but he’s a cut above the selection below and that may not sit well with you new school laxers when you see who’s next, but I really don’t care. Jalbert was the truth. Without him, the next guy doesn’t even have his best move – because Jalbert created it.
Paul Rabil (09: 22g’s, 10a’s). Two words that strike fear in the heart of opponents that also rustle butterflies in the stomachs of thousands of teenage boys and ladies across the country. Pauly Rabes trains like a pro athlete. A REAL pro athlete. He chains dodges better than any other player ever has and now has the hardest shot in the history of lacrosse thanks to his 111mph rip at the All Star Game last Thursday. You can basically insert any hyperbole for Paul Rabil and it would be pretty close to being true. The scary thing is – PR99 has not peaked. He’s got one and three quarters of a season under his belt in the MLL and I have no doubt that when all the mist clears, there will be only one Paul Rabil.
My subs are the best of the rest. Size and speed are not as important for the second line midfield, but the ability to play from multiple spots on the field is paramount. A lot of guys in the MLL only like to set up from one spot to create their shots. These guys can do it all over the place. They can start their motor from wing, the top of the 2-point line, and even behind the cage. Josh Sims (06: 19 goals, 7 two point goals, 11a’s, 43 gb’s) has slowed in the past two years. People have forgotten just how quick and lethal his ability to get his shot off once was. Injuries have played a huge part in his struggles this season and last, but make no mistake he is always a threat with the ball.
John’s Hopkins has provided us with some of the best lacrosse warriors ever. AJ Haugen (04: 22g’s, 12a’s) is first in a long line of successful middies that have come through that program. Haugen’s numbers may not be as gaudy as most, but his toughness is the stuff of legend and he gets the fifth spot on the roster based on his ability to adapt and destroy his opponents like a T 1000.
The final midfielder on this roster is Kyle Dixon (09: 18g’s, 8 2pt g’s). You want a shooter? You got it. Dixon could score a two-point goal with a girls stick. In a wheelchair. Holding a newborn baby.
How does one go about picking the best attackmen in the world? Well, if you already have the best players on the earth, don’t you need someone to get them the ball? There is only one man that can deliver the ball to these players. That man is Conor Gill (27g’s, 40a’s). Gill fed the ball so well that his teammates looked absolutely stupid if they didn’t catch it. I can’t tell you how many Cannons games I went to where a guy didn’t even know he was open and Gill slammed a ball right into their pocket and their surprise/shame caused them to miss the shot. That won’t happen on this team.
I have to pick one Gait and to no ones surprise, it’s Gary. Gary Gait (05: 42g’s 21a’s) was the face of the game for so many years that it’s hard to imagine what the game would be like today if he and his brother decided to play hockey instead of lacrosse. Would the Air Gait exist? I’m going with no. Gary Gait played/plays the game with no fear. I don’t mean the fear of getting hit or messing up – everyone plays with the tiniest amount of that fear. To not do so would make one inhuman. No, Gary Gait is never afraid to fail. You can’t dive into the crease Gary; the goalie could break your neck! Don’t care. You can’t bulk up; your game is built on quickness! Whatever. You can’t play an entire season with a beginner’s stick! Stick’s a stick. You can’t coach AND play in the MLL! We’ll see. You can’t come back after you hit 40 and play with these young guys! Shut up. He’s Gary Gait, and he fears nothing. THAT’s why he’s on this team.
I said this column would begin and end with Junior. So let’s go to the bench. Every team needs a sniper. The guy that can actually sink the game winning shot - when everyone else hits the pipe. That guy is Jesse Hubbard (02: 54g’s, 9a’s). You can call Hubbard one-dimensional if you want. Go ahead, I wont listen and neither will he. Hubbard toiled in the hell that is New Jersey for almost his entire career. Jersey was an absolute joke when Hubbard didn’t dress. He led that team through every loss and I know that it killed him. It killed him every time he missed a shot – you could see a little part of him die every time the Pride lost. I used to chock that up to him being furious with his inept teammates. But now I know he was just mad at himself. He bore the weight of the world on his shoulders with every shot. That’s just what shooters do.
Mark Millon (03: 45g’s, 23a’s) is my second back up. Throw all that stuff about size out the window. This is Mark Millon we’re talking about here. This guy had no business being as good as he was. Never the fastest or strongest. Always the smallest and toughest. Millon got some bad press in his last few years in the league. He was called a ballhog by his teammates more than once. But that doesn’t make a lot of sense considering Millon was at his best without the ball. Cutting, slashing, storming to the net, he opened lanes for himself. No one helped this guy. He had more feuds with players in this league than I do. Millon expected a lot out of his teammates, his coaches and himself – just like Hubbard did. He may not have been the best leader but he was the one guy that you didn’t want to score on you. Loved by fans; hated by opponents. That’s my kind of guy.
John Grant junior (07: 44g’s 24a’s) is the reason I do what I do. I drove to Rochester multiple times last year and as much as I hated the travel, the city and the stadium that the Rattler’s played in I forgot all about those things when I got to see Grant make everyone look like a fool on the field. Somewhere in the video vaults of Laxunited there is a lost video blog of my trip to Rochester where I got lost in Amsterdam NY, ran out of gas and thought I was going to die. As much as we all want to see me afraid for my life being led around by a crazy Russian hotel manager (yes, that is true) the best footage is the stuff at the edge of the field when the Rattler’s annihilated the Cannons. If you saw that game, you know what I’m talking about.
Watching junior play is a surreal experience for me. I always thought that with the right defense anyone could be stopped. I no longer think that. Now I know what greatness is. And it inspires me to keep doing what I am doing, because EVERYONE should see the best that the sport has to offer. Come back soon junior, the best league in the world needs the best player in the world.
Welcome to the team.
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