Boring Mid Season Awards Column
I’m writing this because I got punked by a certain MLL player in a video I shot yesterday. Freshman, and I had the bright idea of winging an interview with Geoff Snider, and while it’s great that he didn’t maim us (or read my Cannons column that brutalized the great nation of Canada before he arrived) we played it a little fast and loose and now I have to rethink my selections. I’m not happy about writing this, so don’t get comfortable, this is going to have a ton of awkward silences. Just like real life.
Rookie of the Year: Yeah, got burned on this one by Snider. I said P.T Ricci and Snider just goes “Hey, isn’t he the guy who covered Paul Rabil last week when Rabil dropped 9 points on the Bayhawks?” First awkward silence in 3 -2- 1 … “Uh…nuh…n- no?” Yeah, I’m super confident. I wrote into a certain website with this caption:
“Today I got to interview one of my favourite players in the league and he made me look like a douche on the internets. FML.”
Look, Ricci is good. There’s no doubt about that. He has the tools, he just doesn’t have that MLL game sense. You cannot hesitate in the MLL, you throw a check or you don’t throw a check. You push the break or you make the outlet. You slide or you don’t slide. If you think about doing those things you are dead. Ricci thinks too much, that’s all. That’s also me justifying my pick that I made in two seconds. The real rookie of the year is probably Greer, but Dan and I can’t pick the same guy -that doesn’t make for good web hits. I drew the short straw on that one. 60% of the time, Greer wins every time.
Offensive Player of the Year: I had Dixon here. And apparently I forgot about him getting blanked in the Boston game. So I’m changing this one too. Kevin Leveille does a lot of work in Chicago and no one really gives him any ink. I met the guy last week and, were it not for an INTERN-al error, there would have been a quick mini interview where I pretend to be serious only to get a joke in about Kevin having to go eat something. He didn’t even flinch, in fact, he laughed. Off the field you would never peg the dude for a pro-laxer. If he wasn’t decked out in Brine gear form head to toenail I wouldn’t have even recognized him. If you look at the top scorers in the MLL you will see the top 2 or 3 have 2-4 2 point goals, thus inflating their true “stat line”. Leveille is all inside and not one of his goals is a junker. They might LOOK like junkers, but if you watch Leveille’s feet – his footwork is honestly THE BEST footwork I have ever seen - you can see that he goes where he wants to go despite his physical/athletic limitations. He brings innovation and style to scoring goals. Apologies to Junior but since he is on the bench for this year, Leveille is the best creative finisher in the league. He’s just on a crappy team with even crappier uniforms and zero flow. Yes, Tommy Kehoe your nightmare has come true – you’re on the team with the worst flow in the league. Irony is a cruel and whorish mistress.
Defensive Player of the Year: I stand by my pick of Brodie Merill here, if only because when I called in him the “Ginger Prince” on camera I heard Snider giggle behind me. Merrill has been a game changer for years. Is this his best season so far? No. But he’s still head and shoulders above everyone else besides Kyle Sweeney. Until he slows down, Merrill will win this in a landslide every year.
Most Improved Player: I find this award insulting because it’s basically an “atta-boy” award for the guy who sucked last year but adjusted to the league and became a real contributor this season. That’s not an award I want to win. If I got a “Most Improved Columnist” award I’m pretty sure I’d smash it and use the jagged pieces to carve messages of vengeance onto my skin. Like “Memento”, but crazier. In the video I gave this to Levin and I guess it’s technically correct, but I’m not down for giving this award out to anyone. It’s a bush league award for a bush league player, and Levin isn’t bush. A Bush? Bushy? God, I hate spellcheck…holy crap, spellcheck is two words? What the - What?
Most Valuable Player: I said Rabil and then immediately went on the defensive in the video because everyone thinks I’m like the biggest Paul Rabil fan ever. I’m not, Joe Shahood is, but I’m on the board of Director’s for Team Rabil. If there was a Team Rabil. I’m sticking with this pick, but it’s not because I’m a fan boy. (ß That’s me admitting I’m a fanboy by the way.) No, I’m standing by this selection because Rabil does to defense’s what Brodie Merrill does to offenses. He dislocates them. Rabil rearranges every match -up on the field. You have to gameplan for him and even when you do – like the Nationals did last night - he STILL gets three points. His team wins off of the mismatches that he creates. He’s a lot like John Grant Junior in that respect – except that he plays midfield and you HAVE to put a pole him or he will either score, get an assist or get the ball checked out by a triple team (it’s true Rabes, when you dodge 3 guys, you lose the ball 2 out of 3 times). That’s what teams do to Rabil off the first dodge – they TRIPLE team him. THAT is why he’s an MVP.
Goalie of the Year: Stupid award, goalies are defensive players. Why don’t we have “face-offer of the year” awards? Because REALLY fat kids can play goalie and be FOGO’s. And maybe play crease attack. Or coach…
Coach of the Year: I stand by what I said in the video – no one coaches in the MLL, they just manage egos. There’s no teaching going on at MLL practices. What are you going to teach these guys? You’re not playing a trapping zone with a dummy slide. There’s no real “scheme” to work on. Oh, sure you can put in an offense and run a man up, but when game time comes, these guys are going to go 1 on 1 and either shoot or dish every single time. And they should; they’re the best players in the world. The last coach this league had was Tony Resch and he’s an assistant on the LI team, not a head coach.
So there you go MLL fans. My corrections on the half-way awards. It hurt me a lot more than it hurt you, I assure you. See you next week when I review the All-Star game - LIVE!
From my couch.
“I asked my boss to bring me to the All-Star game and told them I would pay for everything but the flight and do video and print work the entire time. I’ve been covering lacrosse for over six years. He told me he was bringing interns instead. FML.”
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