Changing of the Guard
Do you know how hard it is to make an All-Star team when you have to choose between six teams that have played five games? Well, if you’re fanboy it’s pretty easy. These are MY All-Star teams. The guys that DESERVE to be on here are here. I’ve watched tape, compiled stats and conferred with colleagues and this is what I have come up with. If you don’t like it you’re a FLIDiot.
This year the All-Star game will be played between team “Old School” and team “Young Guns”. The cut off for the old school team is 2007. I sort of which they made it 06, because then my picks would have been a LOT easier, but that’s four years of being in the league, hardly making someone a young gun. The young guns and subsequently assembled from the draft classes of 2007, 2008 and 2009. I think you will be surprised by how well the offensive players match up in this “veterans league”, but the Young Guns fall criminally short in one vital area.
But let’s go play on the old guys lawn until he brings out the shotgun, shall we? I’ll break this up into three sections: Attack, Midfield and Defense.
On attack for the school that is old: Spencer Ford (Washington), Kevin Leveille (Chicago), Brendan Mundorf (Denver), Ryan Boyle (Boston), Sean Morris (Boston).
Why did I go with this group? Well, first of all that’s 93 points staring you in the face. You can argue style, team record, and one-on-one ability all day. When it’s all over I want a team of guys that can pass the ball. Ford, Boyle and Morris are the top three feeders in the league with 13, 11 and 9 respectively. I won’t lie to you, that’s just insulting your intelligence as a fan - these were easy, easy picks. Probably the easiest of any group.
Old Middies: Peter Vlahakis (LI, 54% FO, 22 GB’s which just edged out Anthony Kelly), Kyle Dixon (Wash, leads the entire league in points), Brian Langtry (Denver…and barely made it – but he can shoot), Stephen Berger (LI, YO BRAH! LAXSTAR BRAH! YEAH! SICK LETTUCE! Shut up.), Matt Streibel (Chi-town, Hard to name him to the team with a shooting percentage of 13, but whatever.), Chris Fiore (LI, 2 game winning goals gets him the nod over other guys he was even with on points)…
What? I’m missing one? No. I don’t wanna. HE’S NOT GOING ON MY TEAM. HE IS MY NEMESIS! HOW DARE YOU!
…
The Final Old School Middie…is Joe Walters. Toronto. All left-handed. Looks like Lou Diamond Phillips’ love child. Are you happy? I’m in shambles and we’re not even halfway through this article. Damn you.
Defense: Brodie Merrill (TOR), Lee Zink (DEN), Kyle Sweeney (BOS), Shawn Nadalen (WASH – and yes I am aware that he plays short stick defense), Jake Deane (CHI), Frank D’Agostino (LI), Brian Dougherty (LI), Mike Levin (BOS).
You’ll notice that there is a pole from each team. This was done to be fair and also because in my opinion the team defense in general has sucked all over the league. Oh, sure there are close scores and goalie numbers are up but actually watching the games you can see that teams are doing one of two things. They’re either A: Packing it in and letting guys shoot from the 2 point line or B: spreading out the pole to chase the ball and throw takeaways and hope that the slide comes. Horrendous. Hey, coaches have you thought about, oh, I don’t know PLAYING A ZONE? It’s not like teams would figure it out with all the selfish middies dodging to cage all game. End rant.
Do I even have to explain my choices at goal? Doc and Levin are the best shot stopping goalies in the league. Period. I’m not even throwing in a random diss. It’s not worth it. Oh, and if you don’t know who Frank D’Agostino is then you haven’t been paying attention – he’s one of the smartest defenders in the league. Oh, and quick heads up if you guys don’t hear from me in a week, call the cops because Brian Spallina read this and he murdered me. Just, you know, a heads up.
A little youtube clip to get us primed for the young guns section:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upenR6n7xWY
Yes nothing like a little Bon Jovi to spice up an article. Here are my attackmen for the Young Guns team: Merrick Thompson (Nationals), Kevin Huntley (Bayhawks), Mike Leveille (Machine), Drew Westervelt (Outlaws), Kevin Buchanan (Bayhawks), Zack Greer (Lizards).
I know what you’re thinking. How can I have two guys from Washington? They suck! Well, Washington does suck, but it’s not these guys’ fault. Plus I was severely limited by the ‘07 restriction for this team. There are more deserving guys, but they’re a hair too old. Buchanan has been a huge surprise for the Bayhawks. I mean he bumped one of the all time top scorers in the league – Scott Urick – for a starting spot. That’s a huge accomplishment, and he followed it up by throwing down seven goals and dishing five assists. Plus, you can count him as a mid if you want, he swings like a 70’s housewife. Drew Westervelt is my sleeper pick for MVP of this game by the way. He’s heckle proof. I respect that.
Young Guns Midfielders: Alex Smith, Steven Brooks, Paul Rabil, Matt Danowski, Greg Downing, Max Seibald, Stephen Peyser.
I think I just wet myself. That is a crazy group of midfielders. Alex Smith is the best face-off guy on the planet and unless Chris Eck goes 25 for 25 in his next game he has no argument to get in this game over Smith. Rabil is Rabil. Danowski has actually started to play at a high level since his better half showed up from Bryant. Greg Downing was basically traded for the league’s former poster boy (you know who he is, I don’t speak his name because I refuse to give my ink to someone that stabbed the sport in the back with a knife made of guitar picks) so you know, that’s a big trade to live up to. He could have become a punch line but he stepped it up and got a spot on the Cannons first midfield line. Max Seibald…is my personal pick. He probably doesn’t deserve it but he gets it because someone has to cut the guy a break after his team collapsed like a sandcastle during an Amazonian beach volleyball game in the NCAA final. Plus, he needs to be in the league “fastest shot” contest to see if he can beat PR99.
This is where the game gets dicey. I know no one plays D in an All Star game, but still. They should have the option of trying to stop the other team at some point. This group…this group will have trouble exercising such an option.
YG Defense: Joe Cinosky, Steve Panarelli, Matt Bocklet, PT Ricci, Sid Smith, Jesse Schwartzman, Brett Queener.
Five poles. I could only find five poles that are ’07 – ’09 eligible that actually play in the games. The MLL is not a league where new D-poles can just step in and contribute. All these old dudes play D until they can’t walk anymore. So much for hybrid longpoles. It breaks down like this: if this were an east/west game only one or two of these guys would make it. Maybe three. PT Ricci would be one of them. This guy is amazing. If he develops a shot he could be the next Brodie Merrill. Or at least the next Kyle Sweeney.
I think Schwartzman is a top three goalie from here on out. Personally, I think that Schwartz and Doc should have an eating contest to determine the title of best fat goalie ever, but Sal Locasio would probably have something to say about that.
So there we go. Those are my teams. We're about 1400 words long and I don’t care BECAUSE I’M NOT GOING TO THE ALL STAR GAME. AGAIN. If you are going to make it then consider yourself lucky – and don’t sit behind the young guns goal. There’s going to be a lot of shots coming your way…
Recent News 
