BEASTMAN!
Before we dive into this, I just want everyone to know that I spoke to Chicago GM John Meister about Greg Beast (yeah I can’t believe he called me either, the power of cryptic emails, people…) and he maintains that he has tried to trade Greg to every team in the league with no takers. However, he would not trade for anything less than a third round draft choice, and Greg cannot suit up for the Machine this season because he is listed a “Did Not Report To Camp”. If you are listed as DNR in the MLL you cannot dress for the team that has your rights that season.
Personally I find it rather inconceivable that any team would take a flyer on a college rookie that has never faced off in the MLL over a proven FO like GregBeast: 55% FO won, 6 g’s, 7a’s, 75GB’s in 2008. Unless the MLL starts painting the balls to look like cupcakes I doubt the newer FO’s in the league will be able to match those stats. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.
Kyle: First things first: How much do you bench, squat and deadlift?
BEASTMAN: Haha I'm so happy you asked about squat and dead lift. 1) Because it shows your not some random meat stick who yells "Yo! How much ya bench?" (Typically heard in long island and jersey) Last time I maxed out it was 405. 2) It gives me a chance to show although my calf's are rather skinny (Geoff Snider made fun of me relentlessly about it) they're still strong. Front squat is 450 Dead is 525. And yes.... I can dunk.
Me: What are you doing now in the fitness world?
G-BEAST: I'm a strength coach in NYC and I've started developing programs that essentially bring the typical collegiate team strength training session to the masses. My good friend (Sim) and I are in the process of bringing investors together to open a new strength training facility in Manhattan next year. Dog Pound Gym/NYC.
Me: How did you get the nickname Beast man? (Remember I know the real answer to this question).
BEASTER: Your version is much simpler "Hey guys, Call me Beast...Now Shut up I'm starving!"
Buuuut it didn't really go that way. I started playing lacrosse in 9th grade and I obviously sucked (I still don't have a left hand) so being the 120 lb monster that I was, I ran around trying to hit people the whole time and every time I did I'd yell BEAST IT! The older guys got a kick out of it and my buddy George as a joke just started calling me Greg beast. The rest is history. Even if I had the balls to tell them to call me that back then, I'd probably still be stuffed in a locker somewhere.
Me: Tell me your favourite face-off story.
GB: I remember my Junior year at Penn State we started off the season pretty poorly and mid-year as a team we faced a tough tragedy and had to really come together. We rolled off 6 straight wins and in the final game of the year we beat G-Town in overtime to get into the NCAA tourney. On the face-off in overtime I remember as I pulled the ball out Andy Corno's helmet sliced my right kneecap. After I got the ball to our middie we took it and scored the winning goal. For weeks I kept picking the scab because I wanted there to be a scar there from that day. It was a very emotional day.
Me: Who is the best FOGO in the league?
MANBEAST: If you go by win loss stats it seems like its Alex. I haven't faced against him yet so all I can do is go by experience. I think the guy I've had the hardest battles against is Geoff now in Toronto. He reminds me a lot of myself in how he approaches the game. He's not out there to make friends and he takes a blue-collar approach. We had a face-off last year that lasted almost a minute. A FREAKING MINUTE! That sucked. But it was our games against each other in a nutshell. I think we both bring an offensive aspect to the game that the other top guys lack. You can feel it when we face-off against one another that we're not thinking about the draw. We're thinking about how we're going to stick it in the net after we win it. I have a lot of respect for him.
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Me: I hear you’re a fan of MMA – who is your favorite fighter at EACH weight class and why?
GB32: I don't like watching heavyweights and Brock is a 'lil too redneckish for me anyway. Anderson Silva is a freaking monster in the middleweight division and he dismantles some of the baddest dudes on the planet with a smirk on his face.
Welterweights I love GSP. He's a great striker but I think his ground game may be unmatched in the UFC, which is quite a thing to say. If he weren’t French he'd be the perfect fighter. (When he talks I wanna kill myself. nothing against the French...screw it, I don't like the French)
Lightweights although I think BJ Penn when he's on his game is unbeatable I like Sean Sherk. 1) I don't know if anyone in the UFC is in the kind of cardio shape he is. His motor never stops. 2) His ground game is vicious and 3) he's so uncomfortable standing and swinging that he spazz’s and throws 3 hit combos to the air whenever anyone gets close to him.
My boy right now is Machida. Being a long time Karate guy myself it's great to see it return to the octagon after being ruled out so early in the UFC lifespan. He uses a hybrid since his punches are so ballistic but he's always got that back foot loaded to do damage.
Me: If you could fight any animal, what animal would you fight and why?
BEAST: Funny you should ask. A legitimate question asked during a flight to San Fran last year was "If you jumped off a diving board and just as you looked down a shark came up to swallow you whole what would you do?" At first I went with the obvious answer "Punch that F^$Ker in the Face (I read somewhere that they hate that) But then I thought for a second. If that dirty prick swam into MY pool and bothered me during my leisure time I'd want to make a statement. SO instead I'd LET him swallow me whole. THEN when I was in there. I'd find his spine and rip that bastard right out. Use the bone to cut through and get out then put his damn head on a stick in my front yard so his friends knew that I wasn't messing around.
(That's right. I actually thought of this already)
Me (**Pees self** then asks:) Werewolf or Vampire?
GURENLIAN: Werewolf................then eat the entire cast of twilight. Seriously that movie made money? How many F'ing 14 year old girls are there in this country?? Time for some population control.
Me: Tell me about your current situation with the Chicago Machine and how it came about.
BEASTKILL: Sigh...Chicago picked me up off of waivers without asking if it was doable for me because they needed 5 face-off men. I thought that was goofy. Didn't go to training camp...Now my girlfriend and I shop for furniture on Saturdays.
Me: Have you spoken to other teams about a trade? Are they holding you hostage?
GREGBEASTERKILLSHOT (I ran out of nicknames, I’m repeating now): Of course I haven't...I'm not technically allowed to talk to other teams. I don’t know about the second part. Never thought of that. I do know one thing though...The son of Papa Beast NEVER gets held hostage.
Me: Date/Marry/Kill: Heidi Montag, Lauren Conrad, Audrina Patridge?
BEAST: I'm going to assume I can kill all 3 and go watch Terminator Salvation again.
Me: What would you like to say to your fans?
GREGBEAST: In all seriousness, thanks a lot for sticking by. It's an honor to receive messages from you guys and I love the support. And I certainly apologize for the way things have worked out this year. But those of you who know me; know that I'm stayin' in shape with fresh eye black in my bag and waiting for THAT phone call. And if/when it comes I'll be ready to Beast It.
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