MLL'S MOST UNDERRATED PLAYERS - By: Kyle Devitte
So at first this was just going to be a list of five guys who are criminally forgotten amongst the myriad of stars that blanket the MLL sky. Yes, I am aware that lists are tacky. So is the word “myriad”. Fortunately I am also tacky, but strangely Overrated. So this list may not make sense to anyone but Dan Driscoll, and Leif Elsmo’s chin mole. What? What’s wrong with lists? They’re fun to read, you can skip around and stuff…you do it anyway.
ATTACK
Keith Cromwell, Long Island Lizards. Keith Cromwell has basically been underrated since he picked up a stick. Not many Rutgers graduates graze on MLL fields, but if they did, Cromwell would be waist deep in heifers. It’s a cattle metaphor. Mind: gutter. Gutter: mind. Cromwell has made his mark in Long Island as the second attackman behind guys like Tim Goettelmann and now Spencer Ford. However, Cromwell’s game sense is what separates him from most of the other attackmen in the league. He’s just a very intelligent and consistent player. He’s not exactly a goal scorer, or a feeder, or a dodger – he does all of those things…well. His point totals for the last three years are split equally (and eerily) between goals and assists. That is the mark of a true throwback player. Yes, Keith Cromwell can do everything – and he does it consistently too.
HONOURABLE MENTION
Seth Goldberg, Philadelphia Barrage. Memo to Seth, this is the last underrated list that you should be on. If teams don’t rate you after this season you should start kidnapping their children and sending fingers every time you’re not in a press release.
GOALIE
Mike Gabel, Chicago Machine. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Mike Gabel is beleaguered, but he’s certainly teetering on the edge of fraught and besieged every week. I gave Gabel a plethora of grief last summer for being one of the worst goalies in the MLL. I mean he did have the worst save percentage (48% - and I’m rounding up) and goals against average (18 goals per game) in the league. This year however, Gabel has stepped up his game. He is ranked second in both goals against average (12 goals per game) and save percentage (59%). That’s a huge jump, especially considering the quality of opponents that the Machine have played thus far – LA, Philly and Denver (twice). In his most recent endeavour, Gabel led the Machine to a three goal win over the Outlaws, making 13 saves and letting in only 13 goals against a Denver team that had been averaging 17.8 goals a game. I think Gabel has finally found some cohesion in front of him and will only get better as the season rolls on. Way to make a fool of me and every other pundit, man. Good luck to you.
HONOURABLE MENTION
Matt McMonagle, Long Island Lizards. What a sick name. I mean honestly, it sounds like the monopoly guy’s long lost brother. Mono (I have a nickname generator, it’s bro-tastic) was the victim of Leif Elsmo’s need to overstate simple facts this past weekend when Leif made repeated references to McMonagle being last in save percentage in the league. (He’s second to last now – but he’s also #1 in goals against average). Then again, Leif also tried to explain that injuries don’t happen on wet playing surfaces because the players just fall down. Right.
DEFENSE
DJ Driscoll, LA Riptide. Recently, LaxUnited filmed a segment where they asked a smattering of the league’s “face-players” who the best defenseman in the MLL is. DJ Driscoll was the guy that a lot of players mentioned third or fourth. [Quick note: I reserve all rights to pen a column on “face-players” in the future.] A strong position defender, Driscoll currently leads all defensemen (along with Chicago’s Jake Deane) in ground balls with 33. Driscoll may not be underrated to the teams that have to deal with him on the West coast, but to all the East coasters – watch this guy play when he comes to your town. Long strides and hard checks make for a formidable force by themselves. Combine them with a nose for the ball and ever-growing confidence you get a dominant d-pole. Watching Driscoll develop into one of the top defensemen in the league the last three seasons has been anything but a surprise. And he’s STILL underrated. Even by his dad, who still owes me a session with a hot masseuse, 20 bucks and a six-pack of Bud Light form last year’s championship weekend.
HONOURABLE MENTION
Zach Jungers, Denver Outlaws. Jungers didn’t get much time on the field last summer…actually he didn’t get any. Not an ideal rookie season. However, Jungers bounced back in 2008 and has played in all of the Outlaws games this year. He has garnered just one penalty this season and leads the Outlaws defense in ground balls. Is he still a rookie if he didn’t play last year? Get that boy a R.O.Y nomination.
MIDFIELD
Tom Zummo, Boston Cannons. What can I say about Tom Zummo that I haven’t already said in every column that I have written for the Boston Cannons and half of my Lax United columns? If you saw Zummo out of uniform you would never think that he is a professional bowler, much less a professional lacrosse player. Every time I see him I’m worried about his cholesterol levels. However, Zoom’s game not only defies conventional logic, but all laws of physics. He has Fernando Torres speed with a Diego Maradona waistline. His shots rip nets like lobsters wielding katanas. Oh, and he can pass all over your face too. Which is why Boston’s second-to-last Man-Up percentage (23.8%) is perplexing. What you thought there wasn’t going to be a dig? Come on - that wasn’t that bad. I hate myself if it makes you feel better.
HONOURABLE MENTION
Brendan Healy, Washington Bayhawks. I happen to think McGlone’s departure from Washington was a direct result of Healy’s emergence. I also happen to think that “Return of the Jedi” is better than “Empire Strikes Back”, though. The Rancor scene puts it over the top.
Oh, I almost forgot – send all hate mail to kdevitte@laxnation.com. I don’t get to see the LaxUnited ones. Harass me, not the interns. Cowards. 
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